The next chapter is knocking the door down

The last time I wrote a blog post for you all it was March of this year, and boy, I had no idea what the months ahead had in store for me. For all of us, actually. The Peace Corps had scooped me up with the few belongings I could manage to grab and threw me back into the life I had prepared to leave for two years, half heartedly attempting to consol me with a pat on the back and a few thousand dollars. Thank you for your service. But now you are on your own.

In March I was highly optimistic. I woke up most days enjoying the time with my family that I had expected to not see for quite a bit longer. My time was spent cooking, baking, reading, embroidering, exercising, and doing stuff I actually really loved to do. There was a sense of solidarity I felt with my community as we all had to be on “lock down” in our houses, keeping everyone safe from the virus. José and I video chatted every day, talking about how we probably would be able to see each other again in May or June. I’d come back for his birthday. Or-worse case scenario-we’d wait and he would come here for mine in July. As you know, that dream was quickly shattered.

The days kept going and the virus cases kept rising. I faced the fact that I would have to get a job, even if it was temporary. I wouldn’t be here very long, I told myself. I found a temporary job and it was nice to keep myself occupied. I made a few new friends and shared some laughs and God even graced me with the opportunity to share religion and spirituality discussions with one of them. I was happy with where I was. Mid-June came around. My timeline extended further-as it would continue to do over the next several months. Maybe September or October I could go back to Guatemala then. I just need to stick it out for a little while longer. We celebrated José’s birthday together from afar. I got another job. And this one was more in the direction I wanted to go career-wise. I was excited about it and knew it would help me to feel like my time spent here was fullfilling and worth it. I still feel that way as I continue progressing with this job and I’m thankful to have found it at the exact right time.

My family went through a few ups and downs and through it all I discovered that I had a niece. A sweet, precious little girl that shares my blood and that I am exploding with love for. God challenges us in many ways and this was one suprise I was not expecting. And yet here we are and I know that if I did not come back from Guatemala I most likely would not have found out about her existence. As much as I have argued with God in this season and pleaded for a why to all of this struggle, I know that every moment this year happened strategically and I was just along for the ride.

My birthday came and went-23 years fell upon me with ease. My friends, my community, reminded me how much I freaking adore them. They are everything. José and I grew substantially. In these months apart, we have discovered truths about each other. Sometimes hard truths. But mostly beautiful truths. We’ve learned the way the other suffers. We have learned what the other needs. We’ve learned our weaknesses and we have definitely learned our strenghts. We’ve leaned on each other and supported each other when one was down. It’s been a journey that I don’t feel like I have the adequate words to describe. But here I stand, seven months after being evacuated from Guatemala with the Peace Corps, and I feel okay. I feel firm. I can stand on my two feet. And I have an idea of where I want to go.

José has a ticket to come visit me for the holidays. As I type this we have 2 months, 20 days, and 23 hours of waiting to do. But hell-we’ve got this. We can do anything now.

I’ll continue to work and to grow. I’m attending two bible studies-one in the Catholic church in my town once a week and another with my dearest friend, Katy, once a week. My spirituality and my relationship with God is strong. I love my job and it has been teaching me a lot about what I want and what I do not want for my future career. I’ll continue to spend time with my family and friends and patiently await the moment when we all can rejoice as a society who is healthy and reborn. And eventually-hopefully sooner rather than later-I will move back to Guatemala and continue that journey. But for now, we rest and we wait and we sit in the present moment and open our eyes to the goodness within it.

Thank you for reading my story and for being with me along the journey. It’s been quite a ride.